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In Quest of a Psychedelic Soul

by Sunita Fernandes

vanishing into the halcyon expanse of
the blue sky weave,
knit into its weft and warp,
where grey-white clouds chug along
like derailed trains with no firm destination.
caught between the first gasp at beholding beauty
and then the liberation,
between the chaos and the ethos,
between the now and the cosmos.

need so many more hieroglyphs than
there are in that ancient alphabet,
to paint my name,
sketch my words
in tongues of rainbow hues.
the images are always ghostly
pale-blue tinged frothy-silver.

the yearning to never blend into the greys
and beiges of society.
instead, sculpt my own David.
paint my own Mona Lisa.
sing my own celestial Psalm.
hum my own Doe Ray Me Faa.
besides Sylvia Plath and Dylan Thomas,
there was nobody to whom i could
read out silently, read out loud,
my gospel.
besides Harry Potter and Hogwart's,
there was nowhere i could
find the images of magic unfold in 4 dimensions
into witches and wizards, spirits and caryatids,
leathery gnomes and pink-faced elves.
the perception of untamed, picturesque reality
as i beheld it.
angels in flower-scented gardens,
singing sweet soft melodies.

how can i know
the tunes, the spells, the songs.
the psalms, the magic potions, the crystal castles.
the star fish on the beach.
the sunset-orange anemones, the whispering breeze.
the immense space that flows through the universe.
how can i know
what causes the sparkle in
every grain of sand?

i need to let my heart skip that one beat.

raise your hand,
if you think like i do.
if others say you are the unpredictability
of human kind.
an altogether complete soul in search of more.
raise your hand,
if you are passion-filled about life.
can bend backwards in an arc for pure joy.
raise your hand,
if you can lie spread-eagled flat on your back in a field,
wearing your Pierre Cardin suit,
amongst sweet spring grass and star-shaped wild flowers,
and inquisitive crawlies -
the epitome of naivety and wisdom.
raise your hand,
if joys and sorrows mingle and mesh
into picture-postcard days of
learning and giving.

stand up,
if you can unabashedly do leap-frog jumps
with an eight-year-old.

Selection 8 of

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Copyright © 2001 by Sunita Fernandes. All rights reserved.