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Fool's Gold

by Señor Bolsa
A gnawing hollowness echoes and grows with each heartbeat.. dreading,
longing, unknowing.

Is she tired of my puppy-dog act, ..too busy, ...uncaring?

Where did she go? An hour without knowing.. How to cope?

Time stands still but the world revolves and resolves, all around me.
Fool, who said you could love her?

She's back.. but no relief.. no time together today, no chance to swim into
the radiance of her aurora, to bask in her smile, to share small intimacies
and dream largely... 24 hours until the next chance.

..Maybe we can..

                If only there was some..   'If only' alright, if only you'd
been faithful.


                             But, but, but.... we shared such a closeness

<time passes>

The light dims further.. the ache grows again.. the short and long term
prospects are bad. A lifetime in less than a week.

What now? Retreat or hang on? A brave, cheery front. Busy indifference,
casual fraternity, brotherly solidarity? To ascribe to these sterile
futures is agony. I just want to cry.

"Better to have loved and lost.." Sure. They don't call it a crush for
nothing.

What could have been done differently, said better? You still believe in
fairies and their tales, Peter.


Why not dammit. I KNOW WE HAVE SOMETHING!
      So why are you shouting? If it really is, it will be, n'est-ce pas?



We weren't the smartest in picking who, what and where but there were a
number of pure, beautiful moments. I just want them to go on and on, to
forget the daily responsibilities. My mind spins out a thousand different
scenarios, of how it could work, of why it SHOULD work.

Am I learning anything?     Time will tell.

I just know... I love her.



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